Neon Green Grass - Corporate Philanthropy vs. Nonprofit

Inspiration is a funny thing. Sometimes I want to feel inspired so bad that I search endlessly through independent films, quirky novels and forgotten blogs. And I do find it sometimes. But I think the best inspiration comes when you least expect it. As such is life.

A little over a year ago, I was planning out my professional development activities with my boss. When the word conference was mentioned, I sighed heavily and said I'd rather go back to school than sit through another dry, freezing and mind-blowingly boring conference on the same topics, repeated issues with cotton-candy answers and speakers who either were "volun-told" to speak or truly love hearing their own voices. Thus, I started my continuing education at New York University. Which, I am beyond thankful for. However, when a co-worker had to drop out of a conference last minute, I was the replacement. Oh the torture!

So there I was on that warm, breezy Tuesday morning. I flew out of our little Upper East Side apartment and ran down York chasing a cab to take me to Columbus Circle during rush hour. I figured, hey, at least the views will be nice right? Yes, they were indeed. But the content, ohhh the content. It was fantastic. Teary eyed - I am ready to walk outside and change the world type of content. The views were an added bonus. Sitting there in the intimate room of 200 other corporate grantmakers and volunteer managers, I felt so moved watching performances and hearing impact stories with the skyline of Manhattan draped around the room. When you sit behind a computer all day putting together presentations, answering emails, approving grants and trying to figure out another way to engagement associates and impact the community... you sometimes have to take a step back to get re-energized.

Anyone that has worked in the nonprofit and corporate philanthropy realms can tell you the internal dilemma that one often faces... the grass being greener, like neon green on the other side. The type of neon green that will allow you to make a bigger, larger and more impactful splash in the community. When you are working your days away inside a nonprofit you are in the weeds. Tired and dirty, understaffed and never loud enough. But you feel connected, deeply connected to the stories and lives of those that you are working with and for. You see and get the small picture. But wait, there is a larger, grander picture. Ahhh, and it can be seen from the corporate philanthropy angle. So you cannon ball into corporate philanthropy ready to make a splash so large that it tidal waves into all the nonprofit causes that you so deeply care about, those that you know how to fix. There are funds, more staff and processes and training and materials than you have ever seen. More than you know what to do with. The excitement, oh the excitement. And you are everyone's best friend. Then there come corporate politics, and you realize just how large and complex this little world of ours is, just how many issues, how many hands, how many strategies - good strategies. You feel disconnected from those weeds that you once knew all too well, those stories, those personalities. You begin to feel lost in this dichotomy.

Time Warner Building overlooking Central Park... told you the views would be grand.

And on the days that you feel this internal pull and struggle, you search for something to center you. Something to make sense of your passions, your need for social change and desired impact. I was blessed to attend the Committee Encouraging Corporate Philanthropy (CECP) Summit held in New York City this month. After hearing so many amazing speakers, performers and social entrepreneurs, I started to wonder...how am I going to change the world? What is my big plan? What am I going to do today? The speaker addressed this, almost like she could hear my thoughts. She said, "We need social entrepreneurs, big dreamers, world changers...these people are the driving force of social change. But you know what we also need, even more do-ers, workers, and pushers to get this work done. You don't need a big grand idea or proposal. Social change and impact happens one day at a time, no matter what sector you work in or what part of the puzzle you work on."

I am reminding myself that life is a series of events, chances, challenges and opportunities. All of which can lead to social good, impact and change. And for that, I am thankful.

***

I found the below to be extremely moving and inspirational.

The Power of Storytelling for Social Change (documentaries)
Girl Rising is a groundbreaking film, directed by Academy Award nominee Richard Robbins, which tells the stories of 9 extraordinary girls from 9 countries, written by 9 celebrated writers and narrated by 9 renowned actresses. Girl Rising showcases the strength of the human spirit and the power of education to change the world.

American Promise A documentary 13 years in the making, American Promise provides a rare look into the lives of two middle class Black families as they navigate the ups and downs of parenting and educating their sons.
Social Change through Arts Performance
No Child, written and performed by Nilaja Sun, is a tour-de-force exploration of the New York City public school system. An insightful, hilarious and touching master class not to be missed by anyone who is concerned about the state of our education system and how we might fix it.

Local change started by one very young girl's hope for her brother
Pathways for Exceptional Children To create a future for children of all abilities where they are included, valued, and empowered to redefine the world.

Acela 2164.

Travel. I do it pretty often these days. Both for pleasure and work. My most frequent trip is the Acela, business class. 2 hours and 45 minutes South to DC's charming Union Station. I say charming when comparing to NYC's Penn Station.  There is always routine in these trips. Cabs, Dramamine, starting and stopping, trying to eat healthy. Business people talking proposals, parents  checking in with nannies, daycares and each other. Obnoxious office calls to admins, bosses and clients. Northeast train views, sunsets and life buzzing around. Weather changes. Cool breezes, warm days, rain, chilly temps, snow delays.

I've come to really love a few things about traveling for work, and specifically, from NYC to DC. 

• Cabs - last week, I left on a cool Spring morning. I felt very "movie-esque" running in the street in the Upper East Side to catch a cab to Penn Station. I loved the cool breeze through the windows as we shot down 5th Ave along Central Park and drove straight through Times Square. 

• Food - I have to eat. I love to eat. And I love that I don't have to pay while eating the food I love. 

• Face time - can be fabulous when you spend 80% of your time behind a computer swamped in emails. 

• Daily routines of others - are just flat out fascinating to me. Social media has trained me to pay close attention to everyone's eating, drinking and social habits. Seeing this in person is quite the treat. 

• Train conversations - can be great! A few trips ago, first class was emptied when Dr. Jill Biden boarded the train with her secret service posse. Thus, we ended up next to an investment banking Californian who lives in CT and travels to Philly often. We shared political, social and nonprofit views. 

• Being away from home - Makes you appreciate home and its simplicity. Having dinner with your husband, walking the dogs and the routine that you create in your own little cloud of life. 

• Independence - navigating trains, planes and cabs forces you to gain independence whether you like it or not. 

There are also things I hate about work travel, specifically NYC to DC. 

• Cabs - I get car sick. 

• Food - it's not homemade or routine or always healthy. 

• Daily routines of others, throw my routine off.

• Train conversations - never, ever end.

• Being away from home, my husband, my dogs, my space.

• Independence, I don't always want it. 

And then you have those moments of thought.... Because when you travel, you have a lot of time to think... and your brain begins to pump out questions faster than you thought humanly possible. 

-train leaves- I should get some work done. Internet and VPN are not working. Does everyone have this many IT issues? Am I on the right career path? At the right company? The right level for my age? Do I have a healthy work/life balance? What is a healthy/work life balance? Do I spend all my time working towards my passions? What are my passions? Am I using my greatest strengths? If I'm not, and if I jump ship...will I be able to pay my bills? Will I have enough stability for a family? Or do I really love my career? Why do I always wonder if the grass is greener? Grass... Will we ever have our own yard? I hate yard work... Do I even want a yard? Do kids really need a yard? Should we be starting our family? Are we in the right city? Is this the right time? What is the right time? What time is it? Will my cab be on time? Where's my Dramamine... -train arrives-

And this, my friends, is why I sleep so soundly while staying in hotels and my first night back home. I am exhausted upon arrival. 

Rat Hockey Tuesdays: The tale of those that lost their tail...

One of the things that I have loved about our move to New York City is the flexibility I have with my job. I work from home (or around the city) a good majority of the time. However, it doesn't come without its challenges....specifically, Rat Hockey Tuesdays. And I don't mean this rat.

While accepting a work meeting invite on Tuesday mornings between 9AM - 10:30AM would not bother most, it makes me cringe. Imagine this: maintenance staff, hockey sticks, cheering.

I've been referencing Rat Hockey Tuesdays since our third week in NYC. I guess I failed to give all the specifics to Richard. He understood that every Tuesday morning there is a mad-dash for which maintenance worker can kill a rat the fastest. What he didn't understand is that they bring (yes, bring from home I suppose) their own hockey sticks and play a real hockey game. Once the "puck" has been captured, the game begins.

Have I told you about our gorgeous view?

Oh yes, we live in between buildings and overlook the garbage AKA the Tuesday morning hockey rink. A lucky NYC apartment find. Go us.

As you can imagine, Tuesday mornings are quite loud with all the murder excitement going on below our window. Pickle and Sundae do not approve (we raised them well) and often bark their disapproval out the window. Can you imagine having to explain to your boss what is causing so much noise? "Oh you know, today is Tuesday...Rat Hockey Tuesday". So now you become the weirdo. Awesome.

Icing on the cake? I have a strange connection with my neighbors. Last Tuesday I locked eyes with the 2nd floor girl looking out her window too... I could feel her annoyance pain.

Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine...only 2 states left until 50!

Our journey continues... we have now traveled states #46, #47 and #48. Almost doesn't count and we can see the finish line ahead. 2 more, 2 more.

Let me start by saying, we love the Northeast. In fact, we love the Northeast much more than we would have ever imagined. The food is fresh, funky and always festive. The people are driven, inspired and love food and travel. And the views. Ohhh the views. They are gorgeous...fresh air, mountains, streams, lakes, and the old architecture. We had two goals on this little journey. 1) Experience Northeast Bed and Breakfasts. 2) Relax. Relax. Eat. and Eat.

Vermont 
Stowe, Vermont can easily be compared to ski towns found deep inside of Colorado. Our chilly Spring arrival was just perfect - not too crowded, but enough people to make you feel like you are in a fun place. When we arrived in Stowe, we checked into our Bed and Breakfast with a view - The Brass Lantern Inn. Our innkeepers were beyond sweet and had the friendliness of a true southerner ...Maryland, of course. All Northeastern's believe that Maryland falls in the "southern bracket"... true laughs from a Texan. Either way, they made us feel right at home in our new mansion that included a variety of games, scenic views of Mt. Mansfield (even from our room!) and a delicious homemade breakfast complete with maple syrup.

Ahhh, Vermont!

During the day, we toured the Ben and Jerry Factory. Need I say more? Ice cream!! Yum! The factory was adorable, with details down to the last drop. We also toured the official B+J's graveyard...filled with retired flavors. Fun fact - employees are allowed 3 PINTS of ice cream each day they work. Christmas gifts anyone?

Tourist picture - check!

Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard

To kick-off our night, we took a local recommendation and ventured to Crop Bistro and Brewery. I mean, c'mon, the website highlights bacon on their front page...can't go wrong! This farm to market restaurant was filled with sights and smells from the exotic leaf covered bar to the beers made on-site. Following dinner, we popped into The Green Mountain Inn for a drink. Welcome to the 1930s...and I don't mean that in a flattering way. The drinks were generous and fun...I tried my very first french martini, tipped off with champagne. However, this was not the lively crowd we were expecting. We did get a kick out of not one, but two people trying to give the wrong room number to charge their drinks to...old age or con-artist? Who knows. That night we slept almost ten hours. I woke up early that morning to early morning sunshine and a gorgeous view of the mountain. By the time we left, I had gained about 10 pounds. Success.

The Brass Lantern Inn

Breakfast at The Brass Lantern Inn

Farm to table fresh tacos!

New Hampshire 
Our wonderful hosts at the Brass Lantern Inn gave us a fantastic tip...to drive through the Kancamagus Pass on our way to Maine. It was scenic, full of twists and turns but took way less time to navigate than Yellowstone. And thankfully, despite the fifteen signs, we escaped without greeting a Moose.

Maine 
Portland, Maine is the east coast cousin to Portland, Oregon. Both have their own personality, following and fun culture. We loved it. In fact, we loved it so much, we spent the second half of the day walking the entire city of Portland. We stayed at the funky and unique Pomegranate Inn, nestled in an adorable neighborhood and known for its artsy decor from the original owner and three course breakfast.

Loved waking up to a morning breeze and reading my book in bed...

Pomegranate Inn

Bites:: We worked up quite an appetite seeing the city and were ready to jump into our first local recommendation of the lobster roll at Eventide Oyster Co. Situated in the financial district of Portland, Eventide seemed to be the only restaurant open on an early Friday night, but that by no means had an impact on the dining scene. This was my favorite lobster roll, the steamed bread fell apart in your mouth and made you jump to the next bite. To accompany my lobster roll, I tried the Walking Dead fruity cocktail and it too, was a yummy creation. Richard was on cloud 9 with the dozen oysters - all Maine specialities. Richard's drink of choice was the Old Fashioned, made just right.

Dinner:: That night we had dinner at the Portland Lobster Company. Sitting on top of the water, we cracked into our large lobster. We even had a bib. Hands down, best lobster we've ever enjoyed. Good job Maine, you lived up to your fame. What goes best as a side dish to a lobster? Why a lobster roll of course! This lobster roll was Richard's favorite.

Dessert:: On our way back to our Bed and Breakfast, we stumbled upon the Street and Company. A dimly lit, crowded-enough dinner, dessert and bar placed in the middle of Portland's well-known cobbled street area. The pecan pie and double chocolate cake were rich and moist. We probably could have eaten the entire serving if given the opportunity. This was a perfect final destination for our evening, which ended quickly when we found out they closed at 10pm...ah, we are not in New York City anymore.

Our after dinner haunt... literally::
When we arrived back at our Bed and Breakfast, there was not a sound in the house that was packed full. Given the home's uniqueness and walls flowing with art, we decided to explore...all the way up to the third floor. We breezed past the opening and found a cute game room in what looked like an attic. On our way back to the stairs, we were startled and stopped by what we could only figure out was art. A huge bowl of rocks knocked over on the ground with a rope that was wrapped around the staircase. How on earth did we miss this?? We had to pass it walking to the game room. How did we not trip over it?? Creepy... We went up later in the night to make sure we were not crazy and then the following morning. In the morning, the bowl was sitting upright again, still tied to the staircase with the rocks on the floor. We had to ask. The innkeeper believes someone knocked it over going to their room...but no one seemed to have heard anything. Hmm...

Well, hello again, New Hampshire. 
Guess who's back, back again? On our way back to New York City, we stopped in the quaint and upbeat city of Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We enjoyed our third and final lobster roll at Old Ferry Landing on the water. Their take on the lobster roll, "backyard style", wasn't our favorite. But really, it's lobster with a view, you can't go wrong.

And that's a wrap for visiting states #46, #47 and #48. Hungry for lobster?

Quotes

I love quotes almost as much as I love photos. I have a quote journal that I add favorites to, I often take photos of pages in a book to remember good lines and recently I've created a new board on pinterest to save quotes I love. Quote addiction? Maybe. But, at least it doesn't come with calories! We will save my reality t.v. addiction for another day...although, I could throw some Duck Dynasty quotes your way.

Really though... To me, quotes are motivating, inspiring and encouraging. Below are some great ones that I've snagged this past month...enjoy!

Have a quote-filled week!

Camping. Bus Rides. Ladies. Bittersweet?

Camping. Bus Rides. Ladies. Bittersweet?

Ah, the yearly women's retreat. Would you believe that out of all the years I've been involved with various churches that I've never actually attended a Women's Retreat? For years, I have listened to women return giggling about trip highlights and tearing up over deeply intimate shared stories. I, for one, love to giggle and I am certainly an open book when I start chatting - for better or for worse. And I am most definitely always up for an adventure that can be cataloged in my mound of photo albums that only I am particular about. But I have never wanted to attend one of these so-called "life changing, much needed, amazing" Women's Retreat.

Why? Let's see...

I get car sick. I get homesick. I don't like not feeling in control of my schedule. Scheduled prayer time feels weird and uncomfortable to me. Groups over the size of 8 bring out the introvert inside. The thought of hearing "church" words used repeatedly makes me roll my eyes. To me, packing is the equivalent of forced labor. And I'm not outdoorsy, board-game loving or over scheduled eating driven. I also worry about being left out, or not knowing anyone or having awkward conversation and having to smile when I don't want to...and then my mouth just hurts. Also, that is a LOT of estrogen in one place. Don't these wonderful qualities about myself just sound so charming? I know everyone is lining up outside my door now to join me on a group camping trip.

After being nudged (ok, extreme nudging) I took the leap, I signed the dotted line and placed it on my calendar. Once something is placed on my calendar...there is no turning back. I am not really sure why I give so much power to my calendar, but in this case, it worked out for the better.

In 2013, at the age of 26, I attended my first Women's Retreat. And you know what? I survived. Not only did I survive, but I had....(brace yourself) fun. I laughed and my mouth did not hurt. I also cried and it felt good. A great release. I didn't hear the "church" words because I was so invested in the actual words, stories, smiles, and tears. I did get car sick and a little homesick, but it went away. I skipped scheduled prayer time and got lost in a good book, Bittersweet. While reading, the author voiced one of my struggles in a different light and I instantly understood that I had been praying for the wrong thing. Funny how that works. I had plenty of friends to sit with, chat with, and eat with. I did not feel alone or left out. I was even outdoorsy and it felt great.

I also realized how much of a freak I am with packing for every emergency known to man...sunscreen, ibuprofen, advil, tylenol, benadryl, drammamine, bandaids, sore throat spray, lactaid, cough drops, eye drops, etc. #truecamper

"She had the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home, or who imagines life must be full of emergencies."~ Mavis Gallant

Glen Spey, NY - Lake Champion

Year 1. NYC.

Year 1.

You know why I love being married to Richard? He loves to dream with me... and we dream best over whiskey and wine. When you get married, you suddenly realize all of those "some day conversations" you've had with your soon-to-be spouse (over whiskey and wine, of course) are now plans you can actually run with...

We talked, shared, prayed, laughed and fantasized about moving to New York City for years. Family just politely smiled, friends' reactions were a mix of excitement or the "you are beyond crazy" look but I'll humor you. So once the stars aligned and God moved mountains to get us here... we then had to figure out what was next.

We both secured jobs (check!), found an apartment (check, check!) and learned to navigate the city even through meltdowns (me), an apartment fire (me), and being homesick (me)... Seeing a trend here? Tack on emergency trips to the vet and major dental issues and you suddenly wonder when things will calm down. And they did.

Remember the timeless GirlScout song (no?!?!) "make new friends...but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold''. True classic right there. That, to me, has been our theme of year one in NYC. Our ever-growing list of food and sights continues, but without a deep sense of community I've realized I feel very, very lost. Year one has been an interesting mix of trying to hold on to community in Texas while seeking community in NYC... and realizing that you can, will and should have both. It just takes time and patience (a virtue that seems to hide from me). For us, that deep sense of community has been able to grow and thrive at our church,  Apostles NYC.

When I am in the middle of a new season in life, I often times panic. I convince myself I'm depressed, that my life is not where it should be and I should be doing or feeling something else ... It's exhausting. If I would just stop (you want me to say collaborate and listen... don't you) and be still, I can enjoy this season of life. God doesn't want us to worry our seasons away - if we just trust Him, we will see that we will make it out just fine with a few laughs and fun memories along the way.

I've learned, Richard's learned, we've both learned a LOT from our move.

Here's the summary.
1. Follow your dreams. If you don't, your wonder will one day turn into regret.
2. Make a plan. Stick to a plan. Allow yourself to deviate from the plan.
3. Embrace being alone. Embrace new friends. Embrace old friends.
4. Appreciate new cultures and ways of life, but don't feel like you don't belong. People enjoy differences. If they don't, move on.
5. Create your own adventures and document them along the way.
6. Get lost in food. Dine alone. Dine with many. Dine with your spouse at home. Dine with friends at dinner parties you throw. Just dine.
7. Be great at work - enjoy your strengths and learn from your weaknesses. Then walk away from work and enjoy the day.
8. Travel...as a couple, for work, to see friends and family, for a fun vacation or just to explore. And take it in. Take that picture, walk that extra block, try that new dish.
9. Be still. Embrace change, new sounds, smells and routines. Never forget old ones.
10. Never regret. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Enjoy the moment because tomorrow it could change.

Would we make the move again? Absolutely.
Was it hard? Absolutely.
Are there things we don't like about the city? Absolutely.
Do we love living in NYC? Absolutely.

To celebrate the wild and wide-ranged mixed of emotions that come from moving away from our Southern roots to the city that never sleeps, we treated ourselves to an awesome steakhouse, Keens, in the city and clinked our glasses to what has been the craziest and most fabulous adventure together, thus far.

What's in store for us next? For once, we don't have a detailed timeline. And that is okay.

xoxo,
J+R